


Shattered

by scarslikeconstxllations



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien hurts himself, Adrien is depressed, Adrien is hurt, Adrien needs a hero and won't accept that he can't save himself from everything, Angst, Blood, F/M, I suck at tagging, LadyNoir - Freeform, Ladybug comes to his aid, Ladybug tries to help him, Romance, Self Harm, Sensuality, Suicide mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarslikeconstxllations/pseuds/scarslikeconstxllations
Summary: Ladybug finds Adrien in a horrifying predicament. Coming to his rescue, she attempts to pick up his shattered pieces while holding her own fragile heart together.





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> A.n. this is a piece I will be posting on the MLB Amino soon. Warning before you read this: There are mentions of suicide, self-harm, and blood. This was created to be pure angst and bring justice to the underrated ship of Ladynoir. Please don't take this as an attack on suicide. Many authors have depicted such things in their stories before. If you feel suicidal, have the thoughts, or take action, please seek help. You are a beautiful, amazing person with a bright soul that deserves to live the best life that they can. The world can be cruel, but it can also be wonderful.
> 
> Live for the wonderful.

**_❝ Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, and it takes. ❞_ **

♡

_Where had she gone wrong?_

In all her time as Ladybug, she was always seen as an idol. A brave, strong hero. Someone everyone aspired to be. 

_Brave._

Such a foreign word. As she stared at the pale face in front of her, she realized that she most certainly did not feel brave. It was quite ironic, really. How a superhero like her could be reduced to ashes and dust at the mere fragment of something going wrong. The slightest bend in the universe and she was spiraling out of control. 

_What an excellent superhero she was._

Her hands shook as she fumbled with the bandages in her grasp. The blood had already soaked her suit, staining the cherry red a dark brown. She tried to focus on the correct wrapping technique, but her tears kept getting in the way. Her vision blurred once more, and she blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear it. It was in vain, however. The tears kept coming. 

A soft hand touched her cheek. She flinched, feeling the warm blood that coated his hand brush against her skin. “Ladybug,” he murmured gently, “it’s not your fault.”

Ladybug inhaled sharply, turning away. She couldn’t stand to see the intensity that his eyes held. She bit her lip to suppress the sob that bubbles in her chest, demanding release from its warm-blooded cage. 

“Mon amour, look at me.” 

_She shattered._

She whirled to face him, furious tears streaming down her cheeks. The sob that desperately wanted to escape finally broke free, wrenching its way past her chapped lips. She hunched over his pale, limp body while tremors wracked her own. 

“It’s not your fault,” he repeated, a gentle sadness in his voice. “It’s only my own.”

Ladybug took the next few minutes to catch her breath. She forced herself to breathe, reminding her trembling hands that they still had work to do. She shakily wrapped the bandages around his wounds, taking extreme caution despite the fury written across her face. When she was finished, she watched his blood soak through the bandaids with empty eyes. 

_Oh, how it hurt him to see such emptiness on her pretty face._

“Why?”

It was such a simple question, with so many different meanings. He, however, knew exactly what she was referring to. Sad eyes met her own, a smile that was less than cheerful making its way onto his face. It was strange, seeing a smile that didn’t hold joy. It looked almost terrifying. 

“You ask such simple, vague questions. Yet I feel that you already know their answers,” he replied simply. He watched her, awaiting her reaction. 

“Adrien Agreste.” Her tone was sharp. “I won’t ask you again.” 

Leaning his head back, Adrien let out a dry laugh. The humorless sound rang through the empty corridor, bouncing along the white walls that were basked in shadows. “Why? Why would I hurt myself? Sweet, naive Ladybug, the real question you should be asking yourself is this: Why wouldn’t I try to end the pain?”

The question caused her to flinch. She removed her hands from his wrists, letting them fall by her knees. It was as if she were a puppet whose strings had been released. Her entire body fell slack as she stared into his eyes, her bottom lip wobbling. 

“You never told me.” The words felt foreign on her lips. Was she really using that as an excuse? Even she was surprised. She instantly regretted her choice in words when she saw a fire light itself behind his eyes. 

“I never told you,” he repeated in a monotone, his eyes glazing over as if he were trying to understand the phrase. “I never told you.” He sat up suddenly, and she balked. “Let me ask you this: What was there to tell? Was I supposed to tell you the thoughts that whirled around consistently in my head late at night? Was I supposed to tell you how neglected and abused I felt? How _used_ I felt? Why should I have told you? Because you’re a superhero who would come and _save_ me?” he spat. 

She could feel the venom dripping from his words as if it was sliding straight off of them and into her heart. She clenched her blood-stained hands into fists, lifting her top lip in a snarl. Leaning over his body with vengeance in her eyes, she spoke the four words that could have stopped time itself. 

“Because I love you.” 

A moment passed. And then another. Silence filled the air, and it had never felt so heavy to Ladybug. Sweat formed on her brow, and she fought with herself not to flinch when Adrien finally spoke. 

“Love,” he said slowly, forcing his innermost feelings to hibernate, “is for children.” 

It was her turn to laugh. Like Adrien’s, it held no humor. “Love is for people of any age, Agreste. No matter what sick logic you go by.” 

“You don’t love me, Ladybug.” Adrien’s expression never wavered. “You’re only convincing yourself that you do. I’m not a replacement for your partner.” 

The words stung her more than the cut of a thousand swords. She reeled back, stumbling on her heel. Her face became a ghastly white, nearly matching the shade of his own. “That’s what you think this is about? You think this is all some big, twisted game so I can find a replacement for Chat Noir?” Her voice rose with each word spoken. “I’m not shallow, Adrien!” She was yelling then. 

Her voice suddenly lowered. “Losing Chat was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Trust me on that. But this isn’t some sick ploy to find his—his _replacement_. It was always you, Adrien. Always.”

Adrien swallowed thickly. “Ladybug, I-I didn’t mean it like that . . . I’m sorry.” His voice was a mere whisper. “I’m just . . . I’m scared.” 

Ladybug stared at the polished tile beneath her. Blood swirled along the cracks like a network of red. “So am I, Adrien.” Her eyes were empty again, and he flinched when their gazes met once more. “I was scared when he didn’t come back. I was scared when I realized he was _never_ coming back. I didn’t know what was wrong, where I had gone wrong. I realized that I had truly lost him, and somehow that was worse than any other pain I had ever felt.” 

Her gaze hardened. “But do you know what was worse? Finding you, like this. Seeing your body drained of its life force, bleeding out on the floor. At least I know that Chat is _alive._ He’s breathing, he’s still here. But you, on the other hand, I had no such clue of. I didn’t know if the person I loved and had loved for the longest time was taking his last breath. And I would be powerless to save him.” 

She clenched her shaking hands into fists once more. “You could have told me. You could have told someone. Anyone. But I won’t waste time thinking of what could have been. I’ve learned the hard way that it gets you nowhere.” 

A heavy silence fell over them once more. Ladybug refused to meet his gaze. She was so incredibly _tired._ She was tired of playing the hero. She was tired of saving everyone but herself. She was tired of the people she loved cruelly being ripped from her grasp. 

“I didn’t ask for a hero.”

The words were empty. Meaningless. 

With an intensity only she could muster, she kissed him. 

A warmth spread through her, reaching from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. He tasted like warm honey and sugar and smelled of pine. His scent filled her nose, his taste erupting on her tongue. He was surrounding her, intoxicating her, filling her with need. 

When she finally released his lips, she expected the tingling sensation to disappear. It didn’t, and she touched her swollen skin in surprise. Only then did she see the blood on her hands once more, and she was reminded of the severity of their current situation. The dread washed over her like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her. 

“Not everyone wants to be saved,” she finally said. “But sometimes they need to be.”

With that, she stood, turning on her heel and headed towards the window. A cool breeze drifted in from the open glass, allowing the chilly night air to settle in the stuffy bathroom. Ladybug hopped onto the ledge, her back faced to Adrien. 

“Ladybug.” 

She didn’t turn. 

“I love you too.” 

There was a certain vulnerability there, but she still didn’t succumb to his honeysuckle words. She leaped from the window ledge and into the night. 

As she felt the air wash over her, she let a few more tears leak down her cheeks. The wind lapped them up hungrily. Stars twinkled above, a crescent moon their guardian. She couldn’t help but think of how beautiful Paris was at night. 

She convinced herself that she had left all thoughts of the blonde boy behind in the confines of his bathroom. 

If only it were that easy. 

Not only had she entangled herself in a web trying to glue the shattered fragments of his soul back together, she had cut her own on his sharp edges.

**Author's Note:**

> A.n. Was it angsty enough? I can always make it worse. :3 Or not. Who knows? 
> 
> Just to clear things up, Adrien was bandaged and his wounds were taken care of. I know some of you were upset at how Ladybug left him, but trust me, he was alright. It was enough, what she had done for him. Even if she had offered to take him to the hospital, he would have refused. It would have caused an uproar considering he's a fairly famous model, and everyone he knew would find out that he had hurt himself. So he would have refused either way. I like to imagine that Ladybug checks up on Adrien every night after that, in a totally non-stalkerish way of course~
> 
> Anyways, please leave kudos if you liked this! As always, thank you for reading.


End file.
